Replying to a comment on:

Today (Free verse) by INTRANSIT

In this gloomy room I watch the rain It traces the pane I am the pain In this room I've gloomed

Jill Stockinger 1-Jan-21/12:06 PM
Like how you "make the gloom" (I've gloomed) and it becomes a tangible thing in the room.
Might be stronger if you use a different word to describe a darkening instead of gloomy in the first line.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001