Ranger22 Jun 2012

Mostly ace. May I suggest some crits? I'm going to anyway.

Line 4 trips the rhythm too much - perhaps needs revising?
Line 8 - get rid of 'like'. It's unnecessary and interrupts the flow.
As someone's already said, 'valo(u)r' and 'greater' just don't do it. The other rhymes are perfect (flesh/creche? Fantastic!) so don't spoil it right at the end.

Otherwise, like -8-