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The Cat Goddess (Sonnet) by nypoet22

She watches with a lion's guarded glance, Harnessed power gathered in her wake. She picks each word precisely, makes them dance; A candor in her creatures cannot fake. Her arms are dragons burned into the flesh, Her legs the grinning patience of the shark; The world and all its cruelty was her crèche, Sliced her senses, like scalpels in the dark. Each scar she wears is patterned from her valor, Twists of wisdom behind a narrowed eye But cutting, burning, falling cannot kill her - Heaven knows, at every turn they try From every plummet she emerges neat, Intact, enhanced, bemused and on her feet.

Ranger 22-Jun-12/4:11 PM
Mostly ace. May I suggest some crits? I'm going to anyway.

Line 4 trips the rhythm too much - perhaps needs revising?
Line 8 - get rid of 'like'. It's unnecessary and interrupts the flow.
As someone's already said, 'valo(u)r' and 'greater' just don't do it. The other rhymes are perfect (flesh/creche? Fantastic!) so don't spoil it right at the end.

Otherwise, like -8-




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