DreamerSupreme15 Dec 2008

The use of the word like in the manner you've employed it above? Don't. Saying "will forever last" in a vain attempt to avoid saying the tired "will last forever"?
Don't. Repetetive redundancy? Eliminate it. If it's constant, then there's no need to say it'll last forever.

Do not ever cheapen what you are trying to express in such ways. You need to reconsider the way you go about constructing your poems. Become thy editor motherfucker!

Consider this:

You are the
eternal sundown
setting,
the distant rain
pouring down,
an ocean wave
receding-- lingering
in the distance just
beyond my grasp.

You are the ever-present
reminder of pleasant memories;
maintaining the sadness,
making me yearn for the past.

Yesterday has long since passed,
but you're still here,
always.

--That's just a quickie example. Notice the difference?- Clear, fluid, with a crisp finish.

It's not what you're saying, it's how you say it. Capiche? Find thy style and, by god, develop it.