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Ashes Of Me (Free verse) by Tyler J. Mancini

Ashes in the tray. Ashes on the floor. Ashes in the way, I left you at the door. Ashes on mind. Ashes all the time. Ashes are just fine, You were once been mine. Ashes at the start. Ashes in my heart. Ashes leave me here, Staring in the mirror. Ashes... Ashes... Once breathing. Once something. Ashes... Ashes... Once breathing. Now nothing.

Don-Quixote 29-Jul-08/5:37 PM
"You were once been mine."
No... no.

'You had once been mine."

Now if we could just make something worth reading out of this idea of ashes? Something that doesn't make me think an eleven year old girl wrote it.

Ashes, ashes, and we all fall
DOWN!

Two. And that's only because there's something that can be done with the concept, but nothing can fix the failure of execution.




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