Replying to a comment on:

The Least of These (Free verse) by Dovina

What matters is your fruit, He said clothing given to a robber a stranger warmly fed Not a gift to fellow Christian but repulsive neighbor loved cheek exposed to slapping brat That was how He showed the way that was how His truth brought strife but in the end, He promised life Children know, adults must learn this baby on the hay who made the place in which He lay Is just as weak and strangely made as sickly kids in Pakistan who wish us only harm They would follow Abraham give their only baby imitate their God See Him lie there needing care and one day He will say “You did it unto me” What separates fire from its heat bodies from their stench or young devotion from radioactive rain?

Ranger 21-Dec-07/2:59 PM
Love the last stanza, and bits here and there also appeal. Stanzas one and two are nice but could be reworded to be a bit more, well, poetic. The sickly kids section is also promising, but I don't really like the word 'kids' in poetry. And I hate seeing life rhymed with strife. It's only a flying visit I've paid, but I have read this a couple of times since it was posted. Hope the Christmas season's treating you well!




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001