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Some poems (Other) by INTRANSIT

Some poems get stuck in the fallopian tubes. Some spend their entire lives in the I.C.U. But some, very few, slide right on out and through their swaddling cloth grab the 'scope, assert: "Hiya Doc ! How are you ?" Snap the nurse on her wazoo and declare: "See ya suckers! I'm off to the Louvre"

Skamper 4-Nov-07/4:03 PM
I found reading without "then" at the beginning of the 10th line rolls easier. I would also give "very few" it's own line. Rhythm seems fine to me although my own brain wants to add 'on' between 'right' and 'out', end the line there and put 'and through' on it's own line, but I'm sure I'll get over that. Rhythm is such a personal thing, am curious now to see what others think...




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