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Confetti (Free verse) by Caducus

I held confetti how I used to hold your finger when your arms were my loom, a hundred burials ago. Your groom smile greeting, killed me. It killed your little girl. Making me bury you on your wedding day, with a nine year old girl and her brother that you once held like her, and now unfurled, as daughters confetti. I held my husband how you used to grip my finger and I cry in his arms how I did in yours a hundred burials ago.

INTRANSIT 1-Sep-07/5:41 AM
Thanks for your patience, C. I'm glad I waited because originally i thought you'd overshot your target. After coming back I see " a little bit of history repeating".
I like this and I think it's all there.

My nits would be: unfurled- bugs me, but I see the rhyme. Could you merge lines 7 and 9?
And -loom. again I see the rhyme but it just sounds awkward to me. Three generations?




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