Replying to a comment on:

Life (Free verse) by Joi

Life is like spring it brings to all good things For those that truly care life will always be there When things go bad When you are sad stop and think of all you have When times are happy and good think of others as you should Feel for those in need give to those who can't achieve Soar through life and be free As a child of God be all you can be.

Dovina 26-Aug-07/8:21 PM
It starts as description and ends as sermon. I think it would be more compelling to describe the feeling for those in need rather than telling us to do it, what it's like to soar through life rather than saying we should soar.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2021 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001