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Blanket Weed (Free verse) by Christof

First, like my daughter's hair, waving with Ophelia's madness As my hand twists, a fish in the cold bite of water Fearing the net and the shrouded enigma Of the wild banshee weed that chokes the pond; Then, like a green fleece, oozing and dripping And slip-slapping as I haul it from water to sun, Ready to be spun once the bright sighted droplets, The memories of home, have been dried and undone; Then hung on the wall like a dead shrivelled newt, Ready for the compost, a coiled desire For the water, for the silver scrape of the fish Pushing through, for the whispered thoughts of the current.

Dovina 11-Jul-07/9:57 AM
I think you can lose "First."
Comma after water.

The green fleece image for a fish stuffed and mounted on the wall works well, but the complex way you develop it will leave some readers wondering what you mean.




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