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grim task (Villanelle) by lmp

at the end of a gruelling day, in the middle of a dreary week, he collects himself and his meager pay. there are no words he cares to say amid dirt and grime and his own reek at the end of a gruelling day. ev'ry day he toils and prays needlessly for what he seeks. he collects himself and his meager pay. carving into wet silty clay another sepulcher for the meek. at the end of a gruelling day, his life's work is death, per se. he stands watch while the wagon creaks, he collects himself and his meager pay. no matter if they work or play, no matter if they're strong or weak, at the end of a gruelling day he collects himself and his meager pay.

Christof 21-Jun-07/7:35 AM
The villanelle is tough little nut to crack and i think this pretty damn good. I don't really like 'ev'ry' - I think the metre would make the syllabic count of the word clear, and it would be nice not to have that archaism. But it's only a small thing and it's made up for by 'wet silty clay' - you've obviously been digging in my garden. Not wanting to get pulled into the British pomposity argument above but - really, the Brits don't have the monopoly on pomposity. Our most pompous novelists are laugh riots next to Dom de Lillo or Sinclair Lewis and as for linguistic rigidity - have you seen the New Yorker? It's like Edith Wharton never died.




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