Replying to a comment on:

Resume (Free verse) by drnick

Game over dreams come true happily ever after now what? Happy not comfortable lost inside eyes lost inside smile for time being. Worried while alone thoughts provoke false reality mocking at a dream. Haunted by a kiss sobering future somber skies fly at time of leaving. Bleeding burning wounds choking heart sobbing skin all too soon. Now resume.

Ranger 21-Jun-07/4:55 AM
The funny thing with the first two stanzas is that they're a sort of guarded joy, almost like you don't expect anything to last, and it bothers you, whereas the next three stanzas sound like you don't care about that fact. It's much the same with starting 'game over' and ending 'now resume' - I like that facet.

But, of course, good luck with it :-)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001