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1945 (Senryu) by nypoet22

He cries, holds her cold form close. Her last whisper, "Shh, Here, hold my satchel."

Skamper 22-May-07/3:07 PM
This senryu caused quite a discussion in our house (yes, slow day). With many conclusions being formed on the use of the word -satchel. In your first write I had thought he was executing her, the language you used has softened with this re-write, and I think you had called her a survivor. The title dragged our minds to WW2, where the use of a satchel was widespread, from medics to children.

He cries – her death breath
Whispering - quiet, my love
He holds her satchel

It's hard to write with anothers thoughts, and I am still a little confused - all good tho - not everything needs an explanation, some writes are made to make you think..




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