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What it Feels Like (Free verse) by laurahenn2010

A touch of your skin on mine A brush of our lips as they touch A look into your eyes A smile completes the rush A touch on my waist The close of a moments kiss To open my eyes and see the only thing that matters It's how I describe my heavenly bliss Arms wrapped around me My head lies on your chest Hearing the breath escape our lips This is how it must feel to be perfectly at rest

Sasha 20-Apr-07/10:00 PM
You rhymed kiss and bliss. That alone earns you the great award of "cliché." You also refer to bliss as heavenly. This earns the award of "overt cliché." You use absolutely no novel imagery or language or even display the slightest awareness that a poem is a form of artwork.

In other words, this is a bad poem for just about every reason a poem can be bad.

-2- for effort




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