By popular request, here is an extra-special bumper pack of AIDS limericks! Enjoy!!!! There once was some AIDS in a car crash. I got it as well as some whiplash. For Davey McAids Had several blades Which cut him, and made his blood splash (into my head wound). There once was some AIDS in a tent Which had quite affordable rent. But then it got bored, And defiled its landlord, A gay man called Hamish McBent. There once was some AIDS in a band. In that, I had quite a large hand. After one of their gigs, I fed them all figs That I'd grown on my AIDS-tainted land. There once was some AIDS in a granny Which leaked all the time from her fanny. It caused quite a muddle When it formed a small puddle At Jools Holland's New Year Hootenanny. There once was some AIDS in my lap. I think it was taking a nap. I fondled its beak To hold in its leak, But nothing can hold in gay crap!!!! There once was some AIDS in a sweater. I angrily wrote it a letter. I said with a frown, Dear Sir, Where's your gown? Naughty AIDS! You should know better! There once was some AIDS in a function It had vim, and start'ling rambunction! But 2 pi r squared Was more than it dared To work out, and so it had luncheon!! There once was some AIDS in a Quaker. It had lived in Dave, the gay baker, But Dave had a curse, And one day he burst, Which spread AIDS o'er many an acre. There once was some AIDS in a purse Quick doctor you'd best get a nurse! It must be embalmed Its buttocks becalmed Lest its suff'ring be made any worse! There once was some AIDS in a Consul, It was stuck on the back of his tonsil. He had a good cough And dislodged it enough To spit into Quick-Drying Ronseal. There once was some AIDS in a toaster My god! It's infecting this coaster! Destroy it at once, You bumbling dunce! Or you shall have only one Boaster! There once was some AIDS in a brain, Which threatened to send it insane. But Lord Jesu did shout To the AIDS, 'Get thee out!' And its potency started to wane! There once was some AIDS in a graph, Which caused terror in most of the staff When it suddenly pounced Out from Friday's accounts... But later we all had a laugh! There once was some AIDS in a cottage. 'Twas the price of its free, wanton frottage. Try to fry it I did, With the National Grid, But I just couldn't get enough wattage. There once was some AIDS in a cup. I confess I was tempted to sup. But Dave cried out, 'No!' And in fright I did throw The AIDS o'er his new terrier pup! There once was some AIDS in my lunch. (Just call it an AIDSketeer's hunch.) So I swapped over plates With one of my mates - How I laughed as I watched Trevor munch! There once was some AIDS in a kipper: It must have been that damn gay skipper! Him and his boyfriend Must be put to an end! That's it! Butler, bring me my slipper! There once was some AIDS in a satchel. For diseases, that bag was a catch-all. I suppose I should've known, For I had it on loan From the gay rights campaigner Peter Tatchell. There once was some AIDS in a sheath In the service of Sensible Keith Who, despite being gay, Always kept AIDS at bay When nibbling fat cocks with his teeth. There once was some AIDS in a river. Did you see Sharon Stone star in 'Sliver'? What? You want me to write 'Bout the AIDS? Well I might, But I think it's infected my liver!!!! There once was some AIDS in a cripple Who'd swapped both her legs and a nipple For some heart surgery. But the surgeon, you see, Had AIDS, and the bypass was triple! There once was some AIDS in a cage Who dropped soap one day in a rage. I'd give it a prod With my great holy rod But I dare not its buttocks engage! There once was some AIDS in a hat, Upon which a child was begat. This queer choice of bed Meant the child was born dead. What, Sir, do you think of that?! There once was some AIDS in a manger, But Jesu was never in danger: To a being like Him, Who is free from all sin, Mortal disease is a stranger! There once was some AIDS in a pickle, Whose wife had been terribly fickle. He cried and he cried, And he finally died, And was sold in a jar for a nickel. There once was some AIDS in a toy Which I gave to an orphaned young boy. You may ask, Did I cry, As I watched the boy die? I did not, Sir, I broke wind in joy! There once was some AIDS in a knave. I've mentioned him, his name was Dave. He lived out his years With his three AIDSketeers In an underground secret AIDS Cave. There once was some AIDS in my eye. At first, I thought it was a sty. But tragically, no; It continuted to grow, So now I must bid you goodbye!