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Llamas (Free verse) by Skamper

Dead things resurrect the imaginings of child-like tantrums filling hollows and writhing in the shallows - strangled threads twist and wriggle to be free thoughts bumping stumbling apologising what’s right? seats reserved for those deserving the rest shuffle for places filling fast Teach me a polished way to speak slide your new tongue between the cracks where slighted words were tossed just because - I tired of them the page laughed creased and walked away shaking dog-eared head

Ranger 25-Mar-07/1:02 PM
Enjoyable. I'm not certain that the title has any more bearing than association with some of the images, but it's probably worth more thought than I can give right now. 'Slide your new tongue between the cracks' made me think of weeds growing through paving slabs - but I'm not sure if you want that ambiguity (i.e. the contrast with 'a polished way to speak'). I think it works wonderfully though, and I do intend to think more about this later. One instant suggestion - you might want to get rid of 'the' from line 2; it could be a personal preference but I prefer as few definite articles as possible in a short space. Good poem.




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