Replying to a comment on:

Paper Maker (Free verse) by Skamper

sweep the letters that hang from fading signs toss them rumbled and worn into arid air – devoid of colour and gasping for breath throw them behind the mind of one with shoulder-shrug cares who watches the lacerations of the she – stripped bare in declaration of paper cut wearing - lacking depth but stinging all the same try to stick them felt-tipped below the headlines as dust devils re-arrange a tangled alphabet from foreign tongues split over lips and spat out to fall down - an abandoned muse somewhere

jessicazee 25-Mar-07/4:08 AM
I mean starting each line in that stanza with "the", "of" (twice), "in", etc. Your intended statements deserve the implied understanding that your audience is literate. Translation: your great writing is still poetry in sentences, in fact your really great writing! For example:

throw them behind the mind of one
with shoulder-shrug cares
who watches the lacerations of the she --
stripped bare in declaration of paper
cut wearing --
lacking depth but stinging all the same

That was fun.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001