mikeeb14 Mar 2007

Your motives behind this poem are not clear to the reader, or at least not this one. There were times it seemed like a satire, especially in the fourth stanza, which unfortunately devolved into an exercise in Dr. Seuss wordplay. Other times your choice of language is deadly serious, leaving me confused.

I won't say 'horrendous' or 'shite' but I would suggest asking yourself why you wrote this poem. You must have had a goal in mind - don't hide it from the reader.

Take care.