Replying to a comment on:

The Medium of Dunce (Other) by Ranger

She sits upon the pavement; stares at glass As Fortune comes to settle in her hand. She'll speak the spirits' tongue and understand Not why the spectres make their stony pass Like silent stars in night wind's chilling blast. That gifted speech is scorned by ghost men - and She sits upon the pavement; stares at glass As Fortune comes to settle in her hand Wreathed in smoke, mad eyes which roll so fast See no silk daybreak leave horizon's band. Before her - jokers, aces, hearts are fanned -She sits upon the pavement, lost in glass.

Dovina 12-Feb-07/6:18 PM
I stumbled over the “Not” in line 4. Omitting it makes a better read for me, but you probably have something else in mind, perhaps that she doesn’t understand the visions in the glass, but can only speak them. Also, the semicolons distract, and would better become commas for this reader. I love line 2 = 8. Well crafted.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001