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Tea,One Night Stands and Smores (Free verse) by Bethy

Tea, at a tea cafe'. He was sitting there, a glance away. I went to the counter, honey, was my need. He handed me sugar, his number,more tea. I cross the floor, to a booth,I slid in, He followed,sat down, my thoughts in a spin. He said,"I'm Jeff" and reached for my hand. I said, "I'm Beth" and thought,one night stand. To my surprize, he was just what I needed, We talked a while, he said, "Lets beat it" We got up from our nest, and headed for the door. His hand on my back, my heart pounding more. Thoughts running wild , inside of my head. I picture us sweaty and twisted, laying breathless, in bed. I got up the courage, to ask one little thing. I noticed your left hand, is donned with a ring. He smiled and nodded, as we stopped for gas. He pumped it quickly, paid, and sped away fast. Down the road we drove, til we came to a hotel. He went in and paid, I was nervous as hell. Quietly, I opened, the creeky car door. Went home to my cats, and pigged out on smores.

Dovina 6-Feb-07/11:36 AM
A good moving story. Tense conflict - might be best to make it all present tense, but you could just eliminate the few out-of-past-tense verbs. Also, quote marks are inconsistent - I'd use them on all quotes. And spacing - yes, a space after every comma. I like it though.




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