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Stripping the willow (Free verse) by ecargo

Powder and flare or the inky harness of the plough, we seek the unturned memory of dirt, of thunder, a sough of doubt. Wandering’s a skin. We wear motion, our descent completes the turn. Within the wood, a sickle burns in a hunter’s hand. Sighted along the long draw of alder, oak--so flies the blood burn of old sacrifice.

ecargo 18-Jan-07/9:46 AM
That's funny--it didn't even occur to me that I used the Brit spelling for plough. I almost certainly did it because of the eye "rhyme" with sough. I agree that the word sough is obscure, but I like poetry because it does, on occasion, unearth odd words, and I think a love for words and wordplay is essential for writing poetry. So while I do usually strive for simplicity in word choices, I like the way "sough" looks here--but your point is apt and appreciated.

This definitely has elements of "swords into ploughshares" but it's also about motion and time/lost ritual. Sickle harkens back to plough but it's also a reference to the moon. I think I was going for something along the lines of DH Lawrence's "Under the Oak" (this pales, obviously, in comparison to that!), but this really isn't about anything concrete, which is probably where it fails the most. It lacks a fulcrum or concrete focus.

I'm not sure what you mean in your final comment about "conventional sentence structure in the last one"--despite the enjambed line, it is a complete sentence, as is the one that follows. Anyway, enough of me on me. Thanks for the comment and vote.




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