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Stripping the willow (Free verse) by ecargo

Powder and flare or the inky harness of the plough, we seek the unturned memory of dirt, of thunder, a sough of doubt. Wandering’s a skin. We wear motion, our descent completes the turn. Within the wood, a sickle burns in a hunter’s hand. Sighted along the long draw of alder, oak--so flies the blood burn of old sacrifice.

Ranger 18-Jan-07/9:00 AM
POEME STATS:

Stanzas: 3
Lines: 12
Uses of 'the': 7
Uses of 'a': 4

Not that I'm criticising there, but you might want to borrow one of the mage's chisels?

'along the long' = yikes
'a sough of doubt' = sex on a light blue screen

Stanza two is super, so is the final line. Stanza one feels weaker than the rest, not that I know what to suggest. Maybe it's the brevity of line one. Everyone who says this is a lovely poem is right though.




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