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The dancers (Free verse) by richa

I can see a henge and its stone circle of bodies, some still, some imitating the steps of a young dancer slowly retracing and then collapsing under gravity, then finding their feet again. I could see ghosts live among us colliding in the planes forged in air wandering into us, placing their hands on ours in much the same way as they. I can see them dancing again imitating shapes like a young dancer.

Shuushin 11-Jan-07/10:55 AM
wondering at the "I can see"s and the "I could see"

seems unnecessary.

and "under gravity" as is, doesn't provide much value, does it? Some beefier description of how the gravity works upon the dancer/stone. mebbe just a modifier for gravity; I don't know. "and then/[some simile of gravity], collapsing"/"then finding their feet"

still, I like it alot.




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