Replying to a comment on:

despaired old age (Other) by mystic enoch

My seasons have passed. Summer then spring. Youth fades with the autumn wind. Now I'm old, and the winter is so cold. My body has seen better days. I need rest. Living in this world but longing for the next. Help has deaf ears with eyes cast downward. Fate sits in the corner over there looking confounded. Hope knows the deal with death is binding. Knowing that its near I hope I find it.

Dovina 13-Dec-06/9:35 PM
The usual sequence is spring then summer, so I began intrigued by the switch. But then you mention autumn in its traditional old-age meaning, and winter coming, which totally confuses me, because I thought you would say something besides the worn-out aging/seasons thing. "Longing for the next" could be made into a "spring" metaphor, but I find only "eyes cast downward." Clarity seems lost here.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001