Replying to a comment on:

Still (Free verse) by half.italian

I am building a home of glass. The memories are scarce, but feelings remain like blinking fate. You are strength in beauty. Right and left combined to smart and correct tastes. I remember the Eiffel Tower, proper in all of its proportions. I remember the music in us.

Dovina 2-Nov-06/5:38 AM
Yes, I think it works for you because you know the details. I often fall into the same delusion – thinking that because a scene is perfectly vivid in memory or imagination, it should be easily seen by a competent reader, or at least that some similar scene should come to their mind. And it’s true that all the details should not be necessary for this to happen. I think that in trying to be vague, you have erred on the side of giving too little detail. You say that in telling us too much, you would enjoy the poem less; but I say that in telling us too little, you have led us to false conclusions. It is not dog shit, but it is confusing or nebulous to me as written. Thanks for the coherent explanation.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001