Replying to a comment on:

One goal,Gotten&Changed (Free verse) by Hostileintent

Five years ago, a promise I did make That by eighteen, one path I would take Eighteen now, five years gone by And I have been offered, that path of mine For the past five years, I have battled and fought I have done all I can, to get what I have sought Five years with a goal, one goal at that That by eighteen I would be, an army cadet Nothing else I have wanted,about nothing else I have thought So many skills, much knowledge, information I've been taught I have prepared myself, in every possible way So that I'll be ready, on that faithful day But now that I've made it, I feel really strange For some of my feelings, have suddenly changed Leaving is pretty hard, friends, family and more Leaving is pretty hard, for my heart is quite sore Isn't it strange how priorities change You think it will fall into place, when you come of age But no, when you get what you've wanted, your wants change Man, how moods and needs change, utterly strange!!

Edna Sweetlove 29-Oct-06/4:37 AM
Embarrassingly badly written. The first stanza is doggerel. The use of "man" in the last line is appalling.

I think you have found your true vocation in the armed forces. A gun will lie better in your hands than a pen. Happy shooting and killing!




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001