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Replying to a comment on:
Valentine (Free verse) by zodiac
(Frank Gusenberg Refuses to Implicate His Assassins)
These coppersâ concern is real enough.
I should be glad of that. One of them, husky smoke-smelling Irish lad,
grips me by my lapels. Who did it, Frank? and always,
Who did it? Shake, shake. Something in me shifts
outward, expanding. They fear I will diffuse
entirely with my secrets. They photograph
my brotherâs brains. A beat-cop coming after
spreads sawdust on the blood like loose handfuls of feed
thrown by a kid farmboy, so bored, thinking
of lunch or his girl waking late at The
Virginia, the Del Prado, or even this 'tough' hitching
breath after bubbling hitching breath. The Irish shakes
again, then gentler, seeming to think although
myselfâs a loss the shaking might loosen
the secret, spilling it out of my belly
before flashbulbs and sawdust have a chance to freeze it.
Frank, Frankie, he says, Tell us who... - Behind,
a captain watching my face lays a hand
on Irishâs shoulder, and then, alarmed then, squeezes
the broadcloth, just so. I lick my lips. What could
I tell them? Capone? McGurn? Four men in just
such uniforms as yours? But when
the truth comes out I have of course been finished
by a blonde Iâve never known. And already wandering I
see this farmboyâs hotel girl brushing her hair
in a big mirror thatâs a whole monthâs wages:
One hundred strokes left, then right. Her print kimono
loose-tied, she might be dull or thoughtful, cadges
a smoke from his pack, runs a bath, fleetingly imagines
the future like a train bearing down fast.
These boysâ concern is real. But I have killed
myself, like all men do. And lacking even
the dignity or indignity of bringing
a shivering pile of guts clutched-in already
cooling to you is enough without these kids
who even as I die make me their hope,
their trick, their crash averted. I cough. I tell 'em âNo one.
Nobody shot me.â I cough. I need a drink.
The Irish holds me as if he's the one who's gone.
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