nypoet228 Oct 2006

Most effective poetry i've seen has at least one of a few things: a sensory image, a thematic metaphor, a biting polemic or a clever play of sound and language. to my eye, this piece has as yet developed none of these. Look back for a moment at your racism poem, which contained all four of the above (and was successful in raising a litany of responses). Consider how you successfully did all these things in that poem, which you thus far haven't done in this one.