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Peter (Free verse) by Wakeboarder20

A ghost appears in the form of a man. Speaking in parables about the unknown claiming to be the son of God. Through him I see a door wide open and beckoning. I find my courage and walk through leaving all I am behind on that rickety boat. The impossible becomes possible but stricken by logic the impossible strikes back. Screaming for help and sinking like a stone. He grabs my arm and saves me asking me why I would doubt lose faith in what I saw before me and what I never knew I could do but did all the same.

nentwined 5-Oct-06/10:27 AM
I don't know the story you're referencing in enough detail to really know what's going on from the poem. It makes more sense on a line level, now, so it's not until I get to the end that I really know I don't know what's going on.

I'd change "claiming he is" to "claiming to be"--things are vague enough that there could be _another_ he... or perhaps the _parables_ are claiming that the ghost he is ...

What rickety boat? That metaphor jumps away from the piece, for me, in a very confusing way.

I really like "but stricken [...] strikes back".

Screaming for help, sinking like a stone?

What do you see?




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