Ranger2 Oct 2006

It's better this way - more consistent and scans better. I think this is one which you will find evolves, and as it does, you will work out what you want it to say - or if you know what you want it to say, you'll work out how you want it to say it. I'll read through the edits of this, hopefully some others will give their views on where you're going.

Recommendation - alter one of the 'throughs' in the first stanza, the repetition doesn't work there, I don't think.