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Peter (Free verse) by Wakeboarder20

A ghost appears in the form of a man. Speaking in parables about the unknown claiming to be the son of God. Through him I see a door wide open and beckoning. I find my courage and walk through leaving all I am behind on that rickety boat. The impossible becomes possible but stricken by logic the impossible strikes back. Screaming for help and sinking like a stone. He grabs my arm and saves me asking me why I would doubt lose faith in what I saw before me and what I never knew I could do but did all the same.

Ranger 2-Oct-06/1:31 PM
It's better this way - more consistent and scans better. I think this is one which you will find evolves, and as it does, you will work out what you want it to say - or if you know what you want it to say, you'll work out how you want it to say it. I'll read through the edits of this, hopefully some others will give their views on where you're going.

Recommendation - alter one of the 'throughs' in the first stanza, the repetition doesn't work there, I don't think.




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