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Peter (Free verse) by Wakeboarder20

A ghost appears in the form of a man. Speaking in parables about the unknown claiming to be the son of God. Through him I see a door wide open and beckoning. I find my courage and walk through leaving all I am behind on that rickety boat. The impossible becomes possible but stricken by logic the impossible strikes back. Screaming for help and sinking like a stone. He grabs my arm and saves me asking me why I would doubt lose faith in what I saw before me and what I never knew I could do but did all the same.

Ranger 1-Oct-06/4:20 PM
The stanzas don't really connect with each other. I'm dying to say 'change pawn to prawne', that would at least give a bit of continuity with the sinking and the ship. But seriously, this doesn't really carry much meaning to me. I know you've got something to say, and I guess I can see what you're saying...but it doesn't grab me, in this form. I don't really know what to suggest, other than getting a continuous link throughout the poem.




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