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Weather poem part 5: the cold dusk (Free verse) by nypoet22

Everyone mentions the weather, hurts when cut, bleeds real blood, cries gently. She scouted her next boyfriend from beside my bed; somewhere she knew this, knew what she had done. I watched it happen, breathed, carried boxes and feigned ignorance. Who played the bigger coward for not speaking out? All i know is wind cools the tears, night brings release and hell, i miss her.

nypoet22 1-Oct-06/11:50 AM
good point. i never really planned for it to be senryu format, the words just sort of fell into it by accident, i guess because i've been using 5-7-5 with some frequency of late. i like the cadence the way it is, but i'm going to change the line breaks. see if you think it makes a difference.




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