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Weather poem part 5: the cold dusk (Free verse) by nypoet22

Everyone mentions the weather, hurts when cut, bleeds real blood, cries gently. She scouted her next boyfriend from beside my bed; somewhere she knew this, knew what she had done. I watched it happen, breathed, carried boxes and feigned ignorance. Who played the bigger coward for not speaking out? All i know is wind cools the tears, night brings release and hell, i miss her.

Ranger 30-Sep-06/6:48 AM
A collection of haikus, unless I'm very much mistaken. This is good - it carries a certain amount of angst, but deals with it exceptionally well. The last stanza works wonders with the juxtaposing of release and hell, even if 'and hell,' is just an exclamatory expression. I'm not sure if you meant it in the sense of 'night brings release and hell/I miss her'. If so, bonus kudos!




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