Let's have some fun! Let's go to the Gynae! If you bleed a lot or have a tickly pussy Or if you have more spots down there Than the walls in your local Indian restaurant Or if you pong like a smoked salmon sandwich It's off to the Gynae! Off to the Gynae! The Gynae will ask a lot of personal questions But he's not a pervert really (usually) He's only doing his job but always bear in mind He chose this specialisation out of many and You have every right to wonder why He would have done such a kinky thing... Strip off your clothes, put on a hospital gown, Be suspicious if it has a "see through" rear Or is of the Lithuanian "open crutch" design; Then relax on an examination table And hum along to Abba on the musak, Then get your feet up on the jolly stirrups. Now open your legs so that the quack Can get a total eyeful of your love-crack; Don't be shy, he's seen hundred like yours And some in worse condition too (I expect!); You may ask to cover your feet with a sheet If you feel they are too smelly for modesty's sake. On with the surgical gloves, out with the speculum And a liberal slathering of K-Y And we're into the good old Gynae action! Now lie back and enjoy two gloved fingers Groping you like Crazy Frog on Viagra! He's hunting for lumps and bumps, yee-ha! Don't feel embarrassed, oh no, oh no, Why not ask your boyfriend or hubby (Or girlfriend if you're a hairy dike) To sit in with you for the occasion? Wow! With a bit of luck, just a little bit, You might end up with a groovy swinging session.