Ranger22 Sep 2006

You're right, there are too many 'its' in here - I hadn't thought of that when writing. 'Diamante lens-drear' = sky, 'clicking' of the first drops of rain, maybe clicking like a door makes it seem like there's only one - again, I didn't see that before.
Solar flowers/slaves/chain-gang = sunflowers. There's billions of the buggers down where this is set - so ordered, sullen even. The heavy orb is the face of a dying sunflower (they are enormous) - I wasn't sure of that passage though; again, I think it's the number (one sunflower, many insects). Will try to rectify that when I edit.

Never heard 'leapin' lizards' - is it just an exclamation? Americanisms can be super-funky although a few are confusing (like 'douchebag' - what's with that one?). Glad you like the metre, as always, thanks for the suggestions :-)