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I Have, Because I Am (Free verse) by flock

I have walked for twelve days straight With a sprained ankle. At the time, I carried 18 kg on my back and I was struck by heat exhaustion and diarrhea. I have clung to the side of a mountain, Hoping that a small clump of grass, Which kept me from falling 400m to my death, Did not break and thus spell out my demise. I have crept along a 800m-high precipice, Wondering if I should carry on to the top and Risk falling at any moment. What a wonderful view I saw from the top though. I have jumped across a crevice, and in doing so, Saw how close I was from meeting my fate. I have seen others do likewise And felt their relief as well. I have crawled in the dirt many times, Hoping that I could escape what had befallen me. I have stood on mountain-tops and Looked out as far as I could in every direction. I have looked over three mountain ranges to see the horizon, But saw only a vague haze. I have watched clouds gather and Fall like a thunderous cough onto a dry earth. I have seen birds build nests. I have seen plants grow Between small cracks in the rock. I have watched ants wake up and Start a new day of hard work, On a sunday. I have heard ants chewing on wheat stalks. I have seen a spider weave a web with Skill and intent unrivalled by any human. I have heard the birds waking at dawn. I have watched the moon fall into the sea. Twice. I have looked up at the stars. The very same stars that Explorers before me have used to navigate the seas. I have navigated through A mountain shrouded in mist. I have seen human traits in animals. I have seen animals in some humans. I have seen someone hate another. I have seen another love someone else. I have nurtured. I have destroyed. I have built towers taller than houses. I have been given a lot. I have had a lot taken from me. I have been the center of attention. I have been shunned. I have cracked under pressure. I have prevailed under worse. I have been tired. I have spoken to strangers. I have been robbed. I have had my self-worth broken down to nothing And then built up again to be stronger. I have done the same for others. I have watched as my mind slowly drifts away, Only to grab hold of it at the last minute. I have pushed my mind and body to the limit several times. I have done evil things, of these i am not proud. I have people I care for. I have people who care for me. I have made friends. I have been alone. I have laughed. I have cried. I have lived I have, Because I am.

Ranger 22-Sep-06/3:08 PM
Well you've got to draw a line between actual criticism and sheer rudeness. For sure "this poem is shit" really isn't any good to man nor beast, but I always get confused when I leave a critique and get accused of rudeness (it doesn't happen often, but once in a blue moon someone does). I've never, as far as I can remember, ever said anything outright offensive. But even so, coming up against a really rude and arrogant critic can give a more effective motivational push than anything else. It worked for me - I joined this site years ago and had many an argument with a chap called poetandknowit (whose 'critiques' revolved around laughing at me and anything I said, with a certain degree of justification; I wrote some real crap back then - as opposed to mild crap now) which ultimately resulted in me leaving until I could come up with something good enough to shut him up. Maybe I'm just excessively competitive, but that sort of barracking gave a real humility blow; something many 16 year-olds need (I certainly did).

There isn't a set way to write 'a poem'. If you choose a particular form, it's usually best to stick to it otherwise you'll get smartarses like myself going 'ooh, that's not a sonnet!' ;-) The key is to figure out what you want to say, and then how to say it in a way which is interesting. A good poem, in my view, will be so easy to read aloud that it almost seems as though the words were meant to be said with each other. That's where structure and metre comes into play - and yes, it does take a bit of practise and understanding to get underway, but hey, we're on a public forum; we're all amateurs otherwise we'd be getting published in '101 Of The Nation's Favourite Poems'. If you consider what you write to be poetry, it's poetry. If I don't think it's poetry, I'll call it something else. I have plenty of respect for people who write devotional poetry (like you seem to do) if they can get it write - religious 'praise' poems are difficult to do without making the nonbeliever or the sort-of-believer (like myself) wince. Keep writing :-)




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