ecargo18 Sep 2006

I'd love the last line more if there were more of a build-up to it, something that anticipates it earlier in the poem. I think your second stanza might be a stronger starting point, and that your first stanza could use more fleshing out. And while I realize that you probably use "hollow ears that see words" in some metaphoric way, metaphors are more effective if they actually work in reality (in a sense), so I have to point out that ears don't see. (yeah, I'm pedantic.) Lots of potential here--would like to see a more complete treatment of your subject (especially given my Saturday morning of of my own wkend justification). ;-)