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weather poem part 10: reprise (Free verse) by nypoet22

"Some scarred wounds need to be reopened to heal properly," she offered, pressed her lips into his, grinned wide and toothy. He opened, allowed her tongue inside and wondered through the thrust and parry and riposte of wet foils dancing in the warm, fan-blown dark, what cut she had suffered. the fan blades pushed perspiration from skin, sliced through the silence like a whisper. He pulled back a step. "Isn't the breeze lovely?"

ecargo 10-Sep-06/6:18 PM
"fan-blown dark" is my favorite line. The "thrust and parry" of tongues, like a duel, is a little overused, IMO, but I do like the parallel with the fan blades cuting through air and silence and the "cuts she had suffered" adds a further touch of connectedness. The last line kind of loses me--I think I get why you went that way, but it seems like a bit of overblown dialect. Still, nice cohesiveness of imagery in this. Not sure I get how your multi-part poem fits together yet. Will be interesting to see all the pieces assembled.




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