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Beg Me Do (Free verse) by D. $ Fontera

i will map your fears on the avenues with red and yellow hues i will erect a statue of your sin enveloped in contradiction while you beg me do begin for the cement softly grafts its weave the sculptor pays his dues i will map your jealousy with red and yellow hues

ecargo 10-Sep-06/6:14 PM
I like the image of the map of fears and jealousy, tracing emotion like some kind of city subway map, and the image of sin commemorated as if it was some kind of statue. But in something so short, the repetition of lines doesn't really work for me--it seems like it needs more flesh or filling or something to make it more real and more complete. Still, interesting image of emotion made somehow tangible.




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