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darabuka (Free verse) by skaskowski

Lay low, my feet. Sink through the debris of this forest's charred corpses and pull me down to die, I won't even mind. Lay low, my eyes. Roll along the river bottom gathering your disguise as you go. Covered up in mud I am half as blind. No, I am just as blind as I was before. I can't stop thinking about just how wise it'd be to conform to the standard niceties. I can't stop thinking about just how dumb I must seem, like someone pulled a fast one on me. But that's who came through my room late last night and planted a seed in my head. I've been hearing that voice coaxing me on ever since to cast off the ash. Break through the bone. See sunlight again and thrive. Though I'd still be just as capable of burning down. I don't know, I can't stop thinking about just how blind I'd be to conform to the standard niceties. I can't stop thinking about just how dumb I must seem. Yeah, someone pulled a fast one on me. But I wish we could just put our heads together, because we are not as far off as we thought.

nypoet22 9-Sep-06/4:01 AM
i liked the recurring "lay low" to begin stanzas. it seems to me that refrain was abandoned far too early in the poem, which turns into a loose stream-of-consciousness type rant without a focal point. this seems to be going somewhere good, but right now there's just no focus.




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