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Coyote Sunsets (Free verse) by DamienDen

Shallow wombs rest below a rusting ridge A cavern of stale musk and scattered bones The sky reflects the wound of the setting sun Dusk hushes the voices a of a hot afternoon Beige scatterings of broken backbones and fallen mountains The sky bleeds into the canyon But this blood reveals no pain nor distress An artist, its paints the landscapes and then moves on The tumble weeds the Buddahs complete in their wandering The desert rains if but only once in a while Make Joshua trees sweat and roots descend Night falls spilling its sack of pearls Mischievous coyote sunsets.

Niphredil 5-Sep-06/1:28 AM
First of all, I love the last line. Love it!
~
I would correct, if I were you, the third stanza. It's not really gramatically correct, and the lines seem detached from one another. I don't really care for the Buddha reference - it conjures up images of a place and time completely unrelated to the canyon bluffs you're describing. Plus although the "night" line is good, it doesn't seem to fit in with the following coyote sunset - after all, night has already fallen, why bother talking about the sunset?

You've got some terrific imagery here, though. Almost every line has something to appreciate; I really enjoyed your poem. keep writing!




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