Replying to a comment on:

What makes you think I want to know you? (Free verse) by thepinkbunnyofdoom

Sorry but I don't think I like what I see However you could try and vindicate yourself to me Prove me wrong, and make me believe that you're something more Than just a girl on myspace selling her image like a whore Whose jaw has probably just dropped to the floor? As a young man spoke arrogant words to start a war Know that my favorite form of attack Is a carefully controlled form of tact? Only digging finger nails in skin deep Leaving no flesh wounds that will keep It's all play and merely pretend And I could make this ride on a merry go round end As I spin your head in slightly different direction Letting you see the hint of the strength of my mind's protection Tsk, Tsk, girl. We haven't met, yet You haven't introduced yourself and I bet I haven't the foggiest of ideas what your name is I think, more than likely you're just a bot for a business

Ranger 4-Sep-06/12:03 AM
I dig the idea in here, but the rhythm was torturous for me. In my view, rhymes should be used to help the rhythm, not the other way round.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001