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On returning to a town where I used to live (Free verse) by Nicholas Jones

Not much has changed, really, and what has changed has not changed much. But I remember the tiny details of the place Nuances of the streets and my memories And so I notice the small differences Like there is a Starbucks now Making here more like everywhere else. But oh! the light! the same light Same streets five years away Rejoice! Light refracts from stone and seawater, Castle and cathedral Clouds and headland To create atmosphere. I remember now This return is not as weird As I had imagined.

Ranger 26-Aug-06/2:36 AM
Wow, this damn near blew me away. Absolute killer opening, and the final two lines clinched it almost perfectly (I'd have preferred 'strange' instead of 'weird' - in keeping with the slightly traditional feel). Two other suggestions - line 7 is a bit bulky. In my opinion it would read better as simply 'Like the Starbucks'. Also, line 9 - I wouldn't bother with the first exclamation mark, just 'But oh - the light! The same light' appears better to me.
This really shouldn't detract, though, from what is otherwise a fantastic piece of poetry.




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