Ranger26 Aug 2006

I thought I'd commented on your work before, but it seems I was mistaken. You've definitely got the inspiration for writing - you clearly know what you want to write about, darker feelings and thoughts. Having that sort of direction is fairly essential and I myself lack it on many occasions. What holds you back - in my opinion - is that you constrain yourself to talking about abstract things ('despise', 'hate', 'inner emotions' etc.) which, although comrehensible, seem very vague and sometimes basic. I mean, we all feel some of these things at some time - your job is to try and make us feel them here and now. This is where careful use of imagery and descriptive innovation comes in. For instance, I love 'Precious martyr, induce me father' but really dislike 'I hate your cheap absolution'. I'd love to see this less abstract and more tactile - you are certainly able enough :-)