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fish eye pie (Free verse) by calliope

She cast a net to the left of the boat and she caught one thou- sand fish. So I says (to her), "Dear gir- ly girl, which fish dish nutrition most suits your volition?" Then she says (to me, with eyes so fair and a fin- ger twirling a curling of hair): "I likes the eyes in pies, ya know, the scales all a- sprinklin' the pan dow- nbelow."

A db C 10-Aug-06/6:17 AM
The breaks in the line create an interesting disjointed feel to the piece which eminates quality through its perspective. I dont really like the theme and the last verse, the theme is not really comical or serious, and the skills you have shown in conveying the feel of this conversation I feel are better placed to write about different topics. If I had liked the theme I would have given this a 10 for the way you have captured the communication between these two fishing women (maybe I have missed the point of this piece a little). This piece has drawn me in enougth to want to have a look at some of your other piece. Please dont take my opinion too far to heart since I am wrong more often than not these days.




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