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O say, can you see? (Free verse) by Dovina

Have you seen, by the dawn’s early light, a margin for error, bounded and spared, on one side tyranny, the other disorder, a space in between where deep need and deep sorrow are less than before, while health and right reach historical height, and viewing it asked, if more expectation’s a high form of madness? A margin for freedom, a margin for error, a space worth the cost, some soldiers thought, And shared in the suffering chose mercy, not life. So pop that cracker, suspend the fight, enjoy the margin, and sparkle the night.

ecargo 5-Jul-06/12:38 PM
I do like this--its cadence and movement--but it's vague and I'm not sure what it's about, really (except in the broadest of ways). Not that everything has to be spelled out (I prefer obliqueness to obviousness), but some carefully chosen specifics might provide a guidepost. Also, the opposite of tyranny isn't necessarily rampant disorder--order is possible, I think (hope!) without opression.

Anyway, as usual, you aim for the bigger issues and what works, works well. Hope you had a happy Fourth.




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