Replying to a comment on:

Numbers add to nothing (Free verse) by Caducus

Eighth cell one man four straps thirty four years, five murders. Three syringes four guards eighteen Witnesses thirty four years - six months and four days, gone in two minutes eleven seconds. One Bible in two limp hands, One last thought 23-09-56 exodus. four tears sixteen smiles. One priest. One prayer. One day in America nothing changes.

LilMsLadyPoet 23-May-06/9:49 AM
The end fell flat, and rang hollow and disconnected...which is good, in this case! I notice you are an impartial observer all the way until the last line, then you pronounce some sort of judgment on it all. I am not sure of what your judgment is. Does his death change nothing, are you speaking to nothing changes in America because America continues to put people on death row and use capital punishment, or are you saying capital punishment changes nothing and killing goes on as usual? Or that his life and death is nothing because he is nothing? Or that his death changed nothing in the lives of those affected by his murders?
I hate having to title things! But that said, I think it needs a better title.
I don't mind it the way it is, as it leaves one to question what it is about, and to re=read to try to figure those questions out...which is never fully answered, for the reader.
I wouldn't mind it being more clear, in showing your judgment either, though.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001