Replying to a comment on:

Glorious Turncoat, I Shall Return (Free verse) by Ranger

A riverborn reflection Winter jaded, white on green Once a laden oak And now, statuesque as a memory Seemingly awake, Mindful of the year's last caterpillar A copper spark - hue dash Spinning Uncertainly settling into his woven urn Like a zealous acrobat rocking under shade Needle-wire undead tree let the wind cry, Giving voice to his skin To caterpillar: "Why do you hang here? Away from the others in their wind-chime chatter -Do you fear the hollow resonance? You, butterfly, shall be adored in equal measure after my time Sustained by sap and leaf Though I shall be cut down by those who planted me in the spring When water trickled, Then I drew from that everlasting well Now see, I bring a symbol of violence Here on this hill in praise of the sun Still you are silence Named and broken What will your wings resemble when you appear from this web? Your coat will turn Leaping about, zesty as rays upon silver The cost of transformation you will not find -Thirty tears will buy your passage Nor will you reckon with those who dig my grave; These gardeners are warriors Gleaming blades will strike, and they, the marchers They will seek my crown through the crossing of thorns For the carpenter I am For the writer I am From afar I will be spied And hear their chant: 'He, a Zeus of nature! Cast him down to leave his print- Let him lie in a sealed tome Let him carry the messages of Man' On the wind I shall hang like you, caterpillar Light among zephyr and rain until salvation"

Ranger 6-May-06/12:35 PM
Well first off, thank you for the spending the time on this, I know all too well how long these things take. Now let's see what kind of a response I can come up with. Let's start with the punctuation. It's something which I'm working on in poetic writing - I'm actually more of a storywriter outside of poemranker so I find punctuation and grammar in prose easy enough. I don't, however, always appreciate it being used in the same way in poetry and in the past I've preferred to let the line breaks do much of the work. I do see your point though, and will adjust accordingly in future. I'm not sure about the first stanza being fragmentary though...how so? I know it requires the reader to do a bit of interpretation but then again, that's what I aim for in poetry. I'll return to that later though.
Same again with the choppy style. The surface poem is meant to be just a description of Jesus talking to Judas. The 'meaning' (what I'm 'getting at') of the poem is hidden beneath the surface though. Seriously, every line, every word was selected here and although I don't pretend to think that I've got it perfect I do think that I arrived precisely where I meant to arrive. To be honest though, I get the impression that you struggled with the same thing on your last post - you said that a lot of people had misinterpreted it and missed the point entirely. I gave a similar reading to that poem as I did to this one while I was writing it. This poem is about rebirth. To put it simply, it's Jesus telling Judas that in time he, like Jesus will be reborn (i.e. with the discovery of this new gospel). To open up a bit more of the complexity in it, the silence of Judas is based on one of zodiac's poems (Gethsemane (or, Jesus learns what's up with dying)). That, along with continuing the theme of rebirth, is the purpose of the last line of every stanza. 'Lazarus'. He, to me, is one of the most symbolic characters in any text.
Umm, where was I? Similes. I am now totally confused about that point, having been told to use them more often by god'swife in response to my glosa of her 'Blueprint'. I guess that's something I'll have to unravel myself with experience.

(to be continued in the next box...)




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