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Wombs and wounds (Free verse) by Caducus

Love is a pall bearer Carrying the dead to graves Mine are beneath trees By soil, merlot and half smoked Marlboro’s. Love is a promise Woven from scarlet. Mine was pure Worshipped by a Goddess Who healed my heart To destroy it. Love is a word Its only definition is Who it takes Who it leaves Who it breaks and Who grieves. I am a griever The once believer the broken, the unspoken. But most of all I am unlovable, Complex. Dark. Lonesome. Sad. Angry, And left to think of four children Who will not be calling me Dad, Bastards make the best Fathers And I am love's bastard, Wanting a womb to sleep in to feel warmth again from a woman.

Ranger 6-May-06/2:37 AM
I'm not sure that you'd find Merlot beneath trees that often. Cigarettes, possibly and certainly soil, but Merlot? Unless you mean for it to represent blood...but it's quite unclear there.
Stanza two - 'worshipped by a goddess' bit makes it sound like you worshipped her too; at least, that's how I read it.
Stanzas 3 and 4 - no problems.
Final stanza...I'm not convinced by the list of adjectives, particularly as you describe yourself as complex but then list some fairly simple emotions (very compatible ones at that, for a complex character I'd have expected some contradictions there).




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