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Portrait Paradelle (Other) by Enkidu

Our chances are flecks of paint, Our chances are flecks of paint, In dueling drips of bleeding angst, In dueling drips of bleeding angst. Flecks are our chances of bleeding, Dueling angst in drips of paint. Mighty the triumph of rage's hands, Mighty the triumph of rage's hands, Destroyed what crafty hearts hath built, Destroyed what crafty hearts hath built. The hearts of rage's crafty triumph, Hath built what destroyed mighty hands. I make each damning spark deliver, I make each damning spark deliver. What grows ‘round the dimming light, What grows ‘round the dimming light. The spark dimming grows damning light Each make ‘round what I deliver. Of the damning drips of triumph, Mighty chances spark in our hands, Rage’s crafty, dimming flecks are destroyed. Of each dueling light what grows, I make hearts ‘round bleeding paint, Deliver what the angst hath built.

Niphredil 1-May-06/2:48 PM
How lovely! And how hard it must have been to write. This is the first paradelle I've read. I'm glad it was a good one.

I agree about the 3rd line from the end, though. 'light what grows' is awkward, so I made a valiant effort to find an alternative. It was a bitch.
I came up with,
'Of each dueling spark in light,
I make hearts ‘round bleeding paint,
Deliver what the angst hath built.'
It might fit, because in the original, the light grows. Here, it sparks into light. However, this is purely your decision. Have I said what a terrific piece this is already?




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