Ranger30 Apr 2006

I like this. It creates an almost-complete portrait yet left me wondering whether you'd return or not. That uncertainty works perfectly in here to conjure up both an image of happiness and tragedy. I'm inclined to go with the latter mainly due to 'the child I'll never have'. That line, to me, is the most important in the poem. I have to admit that I didn't like 'tucking you in'; it felt a little un-arty in comparison with the rest, and is a very cliched phrase. That is the only thing I'd change though.